Back in October of 2024, I joined about 120 of my former colleagues, or about 9% of the company, and departed Automattic. I joined the company nearly 11 years earlier in 2013. I don’t think it is a stretch to say making the decision to leave was one of the most difficult ones I had to make in my professional career.

If I’m honest, I was at a crossroads where I could settle for the status quo, or challenge myself to new growth. For those who know me, you’ll know I’m not one to take the easy route. After some time off, I’m now actively looking for my next opportunity.

Below you will find the farewell message I left at my time of departure and I’m wishing Automattic all the best.

You started on 2013-10-14. Of the 1,877 other a12s, 102 (5.43%) started before and 1,775 (94.57%) after you.

What a cliché way to start a farewell post I must say but it helps tell our story. When I first joined Automattic I had just graduated with a second associate degree and a plan to continue pursuing higher education. I had been using WordPress for several years at the time and was watching Automattic from afar. It was a pipedream, a moonshot, a fantasy to work here, at the WordPress company. I applied and several months later, after a successful trial and a lengthy Matt chat, Automattic has been my professional home for the majority of my adult career.

Looking at things holistically I can truly say that I have been proud of the work I have done, that we have done, for my tenure of just shy of 11 years. From those early days on +storep2 where we were calling users (yes, on the phone) to renew their domains I was greeted by imposter syndrome an all too familiar phenomenon. 

I’ve learned so much and I feel I am both a better person and a better engineer after being surrounded by so many smart talented people for so long. I’ve learned everything from the very basics of supporting WordPress.com customers to how to lead the support organization of a newly acquired small hosting company during my time at Pressable; I honed those skills when communicating publicly with our passionate forum users while on Chiron; and most recently by supporting some of the highest traffic WordPress sites along with my peers at WordPress VIP. 

That’s enough about me. Automattic was never about me, it is arguably not even about WordPress, it has always been about making the web a better place. That is a mission that I still believe in. I’m not leaving out of a place of malice or bitterness, but out of a place of love and respect for the work we do. There are too many individuals who have been part of my journey to name so I’m not even going to attempt it. From everyone who has led me, sat beside me (both virtually or physically) in a meeting, at a conference or meetup, or even just been a friendly face around P2/Slack over the years. Know you will be missed and I’m always just a ping away. 

The two questions that I have found asking myself over and over again throughout the years and will be the ones I continue to ask myself in the future are:

• “Where can I make the most impact?”
• “Where do I see myself in 3-12 months?”

It was answering these questions in the past few days that guided my decision to leave after much deliberation and a few tears. If I were to leave you with this last bit of unsolicited advice it is, to be kind, and do what is right, even when that is hard.

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O9_ElPTfq4 

As some of you may know I recently graduated with my second Associates degree. While I may not be a truly qualified to ride a dinosaur (sorry to burst anyone’s bubble) I have decided that I am going to change the world.

I haven’t worked out all the details yet but I do know that I am committed to at least in some small way changing the world. I know that if I set out with this goal in mind great things can happen.

Just so we’re clear, I’m not so naïve to think that it’s going to be easy or so egotistical that I think I can do it alone. This is why I’m asking you, yes you, to join me.  We likely all have a different idea about what a changed world looks like. I think that is great, it means we can all focus on a small part, work together and create waves.

So what are you waiting for? Let’s change the world. Together.

Mrs. Fransen and Mrs. Flenner (Pre-K and Kindergarten):  Thanks for teaching me that it’s okay to be curious and allowing me to explore the world

Mr. Whalen (2^nd grade):For giving me my first lesson in consumer awareness. Your drawing of cow in a blender as the definition of hot-dog is not something I will forget…EVER.

Mrs. Morehouse née Cramer (6^th grade):  For making good on your promise all those years ago and sending me that letter I wrote myself 10 years later. I may have been wrong about the flying cars and computers running the world but I did get some things right.

Mr. Lauri (7^th/8^th grade, Typing/Visual Basic): I might have failed your programming class but the passion and kindness you showed me helped encourage my love of technology.  Not to mention, learning to type is a skill I use daily.

Mrs. Domela (10^th-12^th grade Yearbook/Independent Journalism): Along with helping inspire my love of good design you showed me that it’s okay to be broken (even as adults), to do what you’re passionate about, and to follow my dreams.

Miss Davis (9^th grade English/12^th grade TA) Treating me like an adult and with respect. Also thanks for letting me (as a senior) give a speech to your class of 10^th graders to complete my CIM. It may not mean much to the rest of the world but it meant something to me, knowing I was in the top 10% of my class.

Mrs. Crumrine (10^th grade Biology) and Mrs. Meritt (9^th grade Chemistry): Thank you for making science fun.

In college there have been too many of you to name. I’ve had some really great teachers (and some not so great ones). Yet, it’s been great learning from you. A quick shout out to Brooke Zimmers, Rachel David, Sigrid Cannon and Bruce Amstutz thanks for your guidance along the way.

Again, thank you to ALL my teachers, the faculty, staff and everyone who has influenced my learning.

Own Your Shit

Okay so you made a mistake. That’s alright, we all make mistakes, but what sets apart the successful people are the ones who admit mistakes. Most of us don’t like the ego blow of saying we were wrong but doing so makes a big difference in the long run. It’s hard, it sucks, get over it.

Figure It Out

Now that you’re admitted the mistake this is the point where you figure it out. This may come in many forms: saying you’re sorry to a loved one, having an unpleasant conversation with a boss, various monetary cost, or just taking steps to solve the problem yourself. The idea here is that you find a way to solve the problem.

Ask for Help

Stuck along the way? It’s okay to ask others for help. For the most part people want to see you succeed. And if not, well ask someone else until you find someone who does. Even if you don’t listen to their advice often times listening to it can help you come up with a better solution.

One caveat though is asking others for help solving your problems and asking them to solve them are two different things. Most people are more responsive and willing to help when you can show them that you’ve thought it through.

Learn From It

Congratulations, you’ve just solved a problem! Now it’s time to learn from it and move on. Dwelling on your problems doesn’t tend to do any good. Yet, neither does making the same mistake twice.

In conclusion, life is complicated we all screw up and while I have to admit that I’m a hypocrite and sometimes fail to solve problems it may be helpful to have someone else ideas on how they go about solving problems.

For some it brings back painful memories of lost loves, loneliness, sadness and longing to be loved. For others it brings the joy of a new relationship, the happiness years of commitment bring, or even just perspective that there is power in being single and independent. Lastly, it could bring no emotion at all, shrugging off the holiday altogether as just another day, or perhaps celebrate the day the state of Oregon was admitted into the Union.

I don’t know your thoughts on Valentine’s Day but for me it’s a day to be thankful. I’m thankful for all the people who love me (I’m not just talking about the romantic type of love either) and grateful that I get to love them in return. It’s easy to get caught up in the commercialism of the holiday but I say let’s take back Valentine’s Day. Let’s make it a day where everyone is shown they are loved, that they matter. Who’s with me?

Sure it is Christmas
Yet that doesn’t seem fitting

For today feels like any time of the year
Which is why I’m quite contrite

Though it all I learned that there is more to life than money if it means working at a job you hate. That sometimes you have to take a step even if you don’t know the outcome just to do something.  I learned nobody rocks like the girls I’m rolling with. When you think you know it all there is always something to learn. I think most importantly I learned a lot about myself and never giving up. I can’t wait to see what this year brings, this new beginning, this fresh start.

I wait
Things don’t improve

Have patients
Change takes time I’m told

I wait
Change never comes

Hold on
It hasn’t been long enough they explain

I wait
Losing motivation

Not now
Just wait a little longer I’m informed

I wait
Giving up hope

You’re young
You have plenty of time they reply

I wait
Time becomes the enemy

Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.
–Heraclitus

I’ve been blogging for the past six year (on this site for about three and a half). One of my favorite things about blogging is being able to look back at my life and see where I was. Even if the post doesn’t explicitly say what was happening it’s often the jog I need remember.

I find it’s easy for me to think that my life is stagnate. I find myself wanting change to come, now. It’s only after I think back about my life I see that things have change, some good, some bad. I am able to see that life is a process. The hard part for me is balancing patients with lack of motivation.

Do my goals just need more time or do I need more motivation, or both?

John Reuben said this so gracefully in his song Boy vs The Cynic:

“…yes your heart will break and go numb lots of times before this life is done
You’ll look for answers but there’s just one
Patience one day it will make sense
But waiting is a pinch waking you up from the worlds you’ve made up
The one where you dream and the one where you gave up time
To create a new atmosphere where the boy and the cynic can both play fair”

I think it’s time to set my fear of failure aside and just dive in just go for it. But how? Hopefully I can find that place where the kid and the cynic can both play fair.

P.S. Poem on this topic possibly to come shortly.